Category Archives: Other Random Pinches


The first moderately nice day we’ve had in over 5 months and I spend it at the outdoor shopping center. At least I was outdoors, right?

Come check out the full post (and hopefully a better layout (once I regain the ability to use Dreamweaver)) at


It’ll probably take me a few days to get everything moved and set up, so please ignore the fact that my header is currently flying off of the page. 😉

Other than that, I’ll see you over at the new site! Hopefully….


Dinner with ED

restaurant sign

Outside the restaurant

I don’t like restaurants. Admittedly, there is some degree of food snobbery at work in this dynamic but, I swear it’s not only because I’m pompous enough to believe I can make it better (or at least healthier). For example, there is the small fact that I have absolutely no money, no job, and a credit score that would make the ex-CEO of Enron pity me.

Given this, I hardly ever eat out, unless there’s baked falafel involved, and, if you live where I do, you know there’s none of that to be found. But the other night, my friend and I decided to go for a walk, eat dinner and walk back. So, after a long short walk to the closest shopping center, we found ourselves in a little Taiwanese restaurant by the name of Apple Jade.

Normally, I don’t like to eat Asian food. If I am eating out, it’s usually going to be at one of two types of places: a place with good hummus or a place with 100-calorie soup. Asian food fits neither of these criteria, but I had vowed to myself before leaving that, no matter what happened, I would let my friend pick the place this time. No matter what happened.

So I did.

soup and emmie

Emmie, enjoying her soup

Little did I know this meant an unexpected guest would be joining us for dinner. Unknown, uninvited, and, most definitely, unwanted. If any outside spectator were to have looked at the two of us eating our dinner, they would have seen two friends enjoying a meal together. They would have been right up until a point. I enjoyed taking a few pictures while my friend and I ranted back and forth over random, inconsequential topics. I enjoyed watching her eat her soup, slurping away at it while trying to avoid letting her laughter get in the way. I enjoyed almost knocking my water glass over when my friend said something about raising goats. I enjoyed being stupid and childish together in a way that you only can with a good friend–I really did.

But I should have known better…I knew there were three the minute my giant bamboo steamer full of vegetables arrived.

steamed vegetables

Just look at the grease dripping off of them...

Me: *takes bite*
ED: I think there’s grease in this.
Emmie: Why would there be grease in it? There’s no grease in mine and I didn’t even say no grease.

Emmie's food

I should have gotten the stuff without grease

Me: I don’t know.
ED: But I’m getting that greasy feeling.
Emmie: Mekkie, relax. If you told them not to put grease in it, why would they?
Me: I don’t know. *pause. take bite*
ED: Do you want to try some?
Emmie: *clearly unaware of what was going on* Sure! Want to try some of mine?
Me: No thanks.
*pause while Emmie chews*
ED: Well, is it greasy?
Emmie: *pause, clearly for thinking* I don’t know. I really can’t tell.
ED: Oh, great. It’s greasy. I knew it!
*awkward silence, chewing*
Emmie: Do you want to try my camera for pictures?

wallsoy sauce and sugar
Me: Yeah sure, why not. *a few minutes of picture taking* Make sure you email them to me.
Emmie: Ok.
*awkward silence*
ED: I swear this has grease in it.
Emmie: Just eat it, Mekkie. You need some fat, you know.
Me: Right, besides, how much grease could it really have?
Emmie: You know, vegetables have some grease in them naturally. Especially the green, leafy ones.
ED: *secretly, to Mekkie* Great, now you can’t eat green, leafy vegetables anymore.
Mekkie: *hoping she can invent a counterattack to ED because she really loves arugula* They do?! Are you sure?
Emmie: Yeah, but it’s good, natural fat. You need some fat Mekkie!
Me: Right, that makes sense.
*awkward silence*
Me: So is your stomach feeling better?
Emmie: Yeah, a little.
*Mekkie manages to suppress ED for a bit, resulting in idle conversation about life*
Mekkie: God, what am I going to do when you’re gone?! Who’s going to make me eat my grease then?
Emmie: I’m not just going to drop out of your life forever.
Mekkie: Please don’t. I don’t know what I would do without you. *pause. takes final bite*

empty bamboo steamer

The grease trap (picture taken after the fortune cookies)

ED: (referring to the empty bamboo steamer) Maybe the bamboo has grease.
Emmie: Maybe.
ED: And it comes out when they steam it.
Emmie: Well probably! Wouldn’t you sweat grease if you were about to be put in a hot oven?!
Mekkie: *laughing* (with a sigh) Oh Emmie…I’m really gonna miss you.
Waitress: *seeing we are done* Do you need a box for that?
Emmie: No, we’re good.
*time passes*
Waitress: *places check on table with two fortune cookies*
Mekkie: *pulls out nine dollars, making sure to avoid lucky five dollar bill with words “DON’T WORRY BE HAPPY” written on it)* I hope this is enough.
Emmie: *pulls out credit card* Should be.
Mekkie: *hands Emmie money* Ok. So I guess just put it all on your card then?
Emmie: *confused. hands waitress bills and card, ignoring the fact it’s a single bill* So here’s nine dollars. And put the rest on the card.
Waitress: *confused* Uhhhhhh
Mekkie: *takes bills and card. gives card to waitress* Just put it all on the card. *looks at Emmie* It’s simpler.
Waitress: Ok
Mekkie: *hands bills to Emmie* Wow, we are out of it today.
Emmie: Yeah.


Please be something good. Please be something that gets me out of here...

Mekkie: *cracks open cookie, reading fortune out loud* An unexpected event will soon make your life more exciting. What could that mean?
Emmie: I don’t know.
Mekkie: *excited* Maybe it means one of the internship places will call?!
Emmie: *eating cookie* Yeah, I bet that’s what it is.
Mekkie: How do you know? Maybe it’s something bad.
Emmie: Well, we’re interpretating
Mekkie: *raises eyebrow* Interpretating?
Emmie: You know what I meant.
Mekkie: Well, what does yours say?
Emmie: Oh! I keep forgetting to read it.
Mekkie: *laughing* Wow….
Emmie: *reading, through laughter* An unexpected adventure awaits.
Mekkie: I bet you’re going to get that job!
Emmie: Maybe….
*Waitress returns with check. Confusion ensues while Emmie, who has suddenly lost the ability to do basic math, calculates the tip. Mekkie, left to battle ED, contemplates designs on rice bowl*

rice bowl

Is that an eggplant?

(7 minutes later)
Mekkie: Ok, let’s go. I have to pee.
Emmie: Me too.
*both rise and walk toward the door*
ED: I swear those vegetables were really greasy. I can just feel the grease adding to the blubber.
Emmie: *sigh* Oh, Mekkie. Let’s just go pee.


Emmie's leftovers

ED swears Emmie ate way less calories

Counting the Days

Number of days since mailed application #1: 18
Number of days since mailed application #2: 15
Number of days since mailed application #3: 14
Number of days spent worrying about above stated number of days: 7

Number of days spent in chemistry lab (since January): 10
Number of days since last went into lab: 10
Number of days spent feeling guilty about this: 5

Number of days since spoke to any family member: 12
Number of days since thought about any family member: 1
Number of days attempting to remedy this situation: 0

Number of days since saw Dr. “shrink”: too long
Number of days spent obsessing over how much I need to see Dr. “shrink”: 9

Number of nights spent “researching” pointless things on the internet till 5 AM: 10
Number of days spent sleeping: 10

Number of days spent stressing over the future: 50 bajillion million
Number of days spent doing something to fix future/move forward: 0

Yeah, it’s been a great month.

Gifts My ED Gave Me: Freedom From Feeling

This site has moved. Please click on the following link to read this post:

6 Truths and a Lie

As I was going through (what seemed like) the never-ending archives of this blog in search of a perfectly written writing sample, I realized how much of it is about me. Not just any me, but the me I want all of you to see, the me I think will get me the most readers, the foodie me, and, sometimes, the me I wish I could be.

In all truth, the real me is pretty ordinary. It’s a scary thing for an anorexic to admit their own mundaneness, but it’s true. I don’t climb walls and I don’t live out the prophecies of inspirational chick flick quotes–in fact, I’m lucky if I can muster up enough willpower to step outside my apartment and get some laundry done.

I don’t know when exactly I came up with this superhuman me. ED turned lying into a game and, being overly competitive, I became obsessed with the idea of tricking everyone around me into seeing exactly what I wanted them too. As House says, “everyone lies,” but not everyone lies well. I did. I was (and still am) an expert liar.

But today, I’m going to try to be honest (at least 6/7ths of the time) and tell you more about me with a little game. I’m sure you’ve played it before; it’s the one where you list some truths with a lie thrown in and the other people have to guess which is the lie. For my version, I’ve chosen 6 truths about myself that have absolutely nothing to do with food or eating disorders because, although that’s a big part of who I am, it’s not all of me.

  1. In middle school, my best friend nicknamed my crush “Voldemort,” because, whenever I talked about him, I said “you know who”.
  2. My favorite store is Target with Walmart coming in at a close second.
  3. The first website I ever made was an anime website glorifying characters of a popular anime show.
  4. There is a made-up song about my name, in which everything rhymes with “Mekkie”.
  5. I am deathly afraid of heights.
  6. I don’t know my best friend’s name and never did, because I’ve called her “Cars”.
  7. I tripped at my high school graduation and my diploma flew out of my hands, hitting a teacher before it landed on the stage with a very resounding thud.

Which one do you think is the lie? I’ll post the answer sometime in the near future (depending on how many guesses I have).

What are your 6 Truths and a Lie? Come on….share! See if you can fool us. 😉

Writer’s Block

I feel it’s been an eternity of two paragraph posts never finished since I’ve written here. Perhaps I went too far with the cover letters, exhausting all my “wordly” abilities on them; perhaps I am no longer able to write.

Regardless of the brick sitting heavy in my mind where words used to be, I cannot give up on this blog. You see, in some ways, I feel it is all I have left. The people that happen upon it (whether they comment, read, or only skim) are in so many ways more connected to me than anyone else has ever been and, therefore are, in some physics-driven closed-loop phenomenon, strange sort of friends that are better than any I’ve known in real life.


On the black waves forever
we sail on together,
having fought fate’s creatures with our lost guide.
When power will call us,
it runs madly through us.
Our hearts filled with night-
our tears will cover the light.

On the black wind forever
we ride on together,
having destroyed your sight with freedom’s guide.
When the master will call us,
he bows down before us.
Our hearts filled with wonder-
our pride will shine over the light.

On the black sand forever
we gallop on together,
having destroyed fate’s storm with eternity.
When the fire will call us,
it glitters around us.
Our minds filled with ice-
Our time will destroy the light.

Questions to ponder:

  1. Do you ever have a “block” (whether it be in creativity, relationships or anything else you consider a big part of your life)?
  2. If so, how do you deal with it? DO you deal with it?
  3. How do you think procrastination plays into the concept of a “block”?

Green Living = Economical Living


courtesy of Meatless Monday

First it was rainbow, then chrome; now, more than ever, we (as a society) seem to have developed a liking for the color green. For the record, I have been hugging trees since the early ’90s. Seriously, there are pictures of me hugging trees as a 3-year-old (I felt stepping on them would be “mean”). Sometimes I even indulge in a little self-flattery and pretend I was one of the founders of this trend. I did convince the menu planners of the new college cafeteria to start offering vegan and vegetarian options (other than morningstar burgers and peanut butter) back when it first opened. And I did try to talk my school’s theatre department into recycling instead of burning the wood used for the set.

Let’s face it, though: I am not a “change the world” kind of person. Don’t get me wrong; I would love to change the world as much as anyone who’s still young (and naive) enough to afford the idealistic world-view most people have in their early 20s. But I am not (nor ever will be) a socially-competent individual.

Needless to say, I have long given up on changing the world. I’ve resigned myself to a life of solitary tree-hugging and boca-burger eating, which is probably why I didn’t immediately recognize the progress other (more socially apt) tree-huggers have made. But I’m beginning to notice something: boca burgers are now available at mega-marts, my quiet corner has turned into a noisy room, and 1/7 of year is now dedicated to “PETA eating”….

I’m not going to sit here and pretend that living a “greener” life is easy or that it’s always the cheapest option (have you seen the price tags on a lot of vegetarian meat options lately?!), but it can be affordable. You don’t need to switch to expensive organic cleaning products, buy a hybrid car, or even invest in overpriced veggie burgers to help the environment or non-human animals.

As the “Meatless Monday” movement suggests, even eating meatless just one day of the week can make a difference for both the environment and your health. In honor of the movement, I’ll be posting a new vegan, budget-friendly recipe every Monday (since everything’s already vegetarian here, I figure I should take it up a notch).

For this week, here’s a list of recipes (from my blog) in honor of being vegetarian (or vegan)–the budget friendly way.

DIY Sponge Cake (microwave-friendly)
DIY Cookies (microwave-friendly)
Rosemary-scented Balsamic Spaghetti Squash with Peppers and Mushrooms
Pistachio Butter and/or “Nutella”
Curry-spiced Green Beans
Zingy Trees of Goodness (i.e. Spiced Roasted Broccoli)
Curried Lentil Loaf with Chatpata Butternut Sabzi
…for even more ideas, click on the “vegan” tag

Grocery Store Finds: Blueberry Pomegranate Vinegar

As I wandered the grocery store aisles, attempting to remember what it was I had come there to buy, I somehow found myself staring at a shelf full of vinegar. Among the clinking glass bottles was one that proclaimed it had been infused with pomegranate and blueberries. Being a lover of all things blue and all things berry, I couldn’t resist the urge to pick it up, put it in my cart and bring it home. The only problem is, now I am stuck with a bottle of vinegar that tastes nothing like blueberries OR pomegranate (or vinegar for that matter).

Rather, it has a strange, almost off, taste. As if they TRIED to make it taste like blueberries but failed. I’m still working out what to do with the stuff, but any suggestions are welcome.



And, of course, in classic “Mekkie” fashion, I forgot the mushrooms, which is what I gone to buy.

The Pain of Writing a Cover Letter

Yes, it’s true: after months of trying to avoid it, I am beginning to accept the fact that I will never be able to live out the rest of my life without at least trying to pursue a career in food or writing…or, even better, both.

I know that anyone who’s currently maneuvering through the drudgery that defines the life of a student in med school will curse me for saying this, but being a doctor would be so easy. I’m know I’m smart and good at school, always have been. I would do wonderfully in med school, graduate with top honors, be placed in a job upon completion…and spend the rest of my life being a miserable doctor who reads cooking magazines wishing I could write for one.

At least the pay is good, right? But apparently that’s not enough for me. I guess I’m spoiled enough that I require the ever elusive “job satisfaction” to keep me from dreading work every day.

Having accepted this, however begrudgingly, I am now attempting to find an internship at a food magazine. Yes, you heard me: I am accepting that I will not live out every Indian parent’s dream of seeing their kid become a well-established physician or a world-renowned businessperson.

I’ve made a resume (complete with little apples as bullets) but am woefully stuck at the cover letter. How do I explain to a magazine what someone like me–someone with little “official” experience, someone who hates nothing more than the idea of business casual, someone who spends most of her days inside attempting to manipulate chemistry to create a vegan, low-calorie cake in her microwave–could offer them? How do I convince these people that I have enough passion, enough intelligence, to compensate for all of that and more? How am I supposed to show them that my lack of “extracurricular” activities is only because all I want to do is cook–and write–and cook some more? How do I describe the way I look at the world of food and science: cakes as chemical reactions, colors as vitamins, flavorings and seasonings as embodiments of life’s randomness…

HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO MAKE THESE PEOPLE BELIEVE I AM ENOUGH?! I can’t even get the cake to work….

For the chemists

Although I do like to think of myself as somewhat of a food chemist, I recognize the fact I am nowhere close. While I know why baking soda makes cookies flat and why vinegar makes milk thick, there are many things I could not even begin to understand much less explain.

Among these things is the whipping of cream. Fat globules, yadda, yadda, emulsion, yadda, yadda, yadda…the steps make sense but there are too many kinks in the description. If whipping cream is nothing more than an emulsion, shouldn’t you be able to “whip” salad dressing? Agreed, the unsaturated fats aren’t so apt to form a micelle, but what about ranch? These are all questions that are beyond me.

Normally, I would let such a thing pass. I’m not a big fan of whipped cream and, being particularly fat phobic, I try to avoid anything with the words “cream” or “heavy” in it. But I’m in a bit of a predicament. I desperately want to try to use my microwave cake recipe to make tiramisu (yet another one of my random, out-of-nowhere food cravings) but I cannot think of any way to get around the fat in the mascarpone. Ideally, I could use some cheesecake pudding mix to make “whipped” pudding but that hasn’t worked so far.


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