Writer’s Block

I feel it’s been an eternity of two paragraph posts never finished since I’ve written here. Perhaps I went too far with the cover letters, exhausting all my “wordly” abilities on them; perhaps I am no longer able to write.

Regardless of the brick sitting heavy in my mind where words used to be, I cannot give up on this blog. You see, in some ways, I feel it is all I have left. The people that happen upon it (whether they comment, read, or only skim) are in so many ways more connected to me than anyone else has ever been and, therefore are, in some physics-driven closed-loop phenomenon, strange sort of friends that are better than any I’ve known in real life.

“Nostos”

On the black waves forever
we sail on together,
having fought fate’s creatures with our lost guide.
When power will call us,
it runs madly through us.
Our hearts filled with night-
our tears will cover the light.

On the black wind forever
we ride on together,
having destroyed your sight with freedom’s guide.
When the master will call us,
he bows down before us.
Our hearts filled with wonder-
our pride will shine over the light.

On the black sand forever
we gallop on together,
having destroyed fate’s storm with eternity.
When the fire will call us,
it glitters around us.
Our minds filled with ice-
Our time will destroy the light.

Questions to ponder:

  1. Do you ever have a “block” (whether it be in creativity, relationships or anything else you consider a big part of your life)?
  2. If so, how do you deal with it? DO you deal with it?
  3. How do you think procrastination plays into the concept of a “block”?
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4 responses to “Writer’s Block

  1. sarah March 19, 2011 at 2:07 pm

    yes…I have blocks of all kinds ALL the time. I used to be a writer you know…and I feel as though I have lost all creativity and it makes me sad…I try to write and I can’t even come up with anything to write about…it is so sad. When I was little I wrote stories, poems and songs all the time and now…nothing….and don’t even get me started on relationships blocks….I have major issues…all mental…eating disorders are only a part of it but it is all related…I have blocks with losing weight….some part of me doesn’t want to commit….and I don’t know why…I always cause myself to fail…and I don’t know why…..I am trying to figure out how to deal with it….I think it will take years but I am currently focusing on how to make myself happy…I think a lot of my problems stems from being a huge people pleaser and a weird pleasure of punishing myself because I do not feel as though I deserve something…it is a work in progress….and procrastination is just a fear of the inevitable…you know you have to do it but you are afraid of putting yourself out there because you fear failure…I don’t like to procrastinate but looking at my life I can definately see things I am currently procrastinating….and I think it is jfear that is preventing me from doing them or doing them and succeeding…I think I expect myself to fail….

    • Mekkie March 20, 2011 at 1:27 pm

      I’m not sure if it’s chemical or not, but I read a study once that says creativity declines with age. Maybe it’s because we just stop nurturing it.

      Ask yourself this: who would you be without the extra weight?

      My biggest problem with “recovery” is/was always that I don’t know how I would define myself without my eating disorder. It has become everything I am and everything I care about. I’m Mekkie, the calorie-counting, OCD, morbid foodie, and I fear, if I lose that part of me, there will be nothing left.

      People pleasing is another issue, but I don’t have any insight on that one yet. I used to try to please my mother all the time (a big reason I tried to lose weight in the first place was to make her love me), but I can’t really say I’ve “dealt” with that issue since all I’ve done is removed her from my life entirely, which isn’t a good, permanent solution.

      Hang in there sarah.

  2. Emmie March 19, 2011 at 9:46 pm

    Gees Mek, I love that poem:)

    • Mekkie March 20, 2011 at 1:18 pm

      I wrote it in high school, and it’s one of my favorites. Didn’t like it so much at first but it’s grown on me. I was so much better at stuff back then

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