A couple years ago, when I still lived in the dorms and had to spend all of Christmas break at my parents’, my mother went to India. This left me, my dad, and my (then) 8-year-old brother to fend for ourselves against the evil that is the Costco “traveling shows”.
If you haven’t heard about these, consider yourself lucky. The idea behind the “traveling show” is the same as the idea behind samples (give them just a little taste and they’ll buy it), but bigger. Much MUCH bigger.
What these clever little companies do is send in a salesperson with the product. So you have someone actually “selling” the product to you. It’s like an interactive TV ad…with food.
The show that year happened to be the Vitamix. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, it’s a $400 blender. And, yes, that is a beyond exorbitant price to pay for a blender (NO MATTER WHAT IT DOES).
My dad, my brother and I stood in front of the Vitamix stand for over an hour, allowing ourselves to be sucked into the lady’s sales pitch. People came and people went: they were smart enough to treat it like any other sample–take the smoothie (or whatever else there was), consume it, and leave the area. My family and I, on the other hand, were like moths to a flame.
As you probably have guessed by now, we bought the blender and, being the foodie of the house, it became mine. As you ALSO might have guessed, I’m not that fond of it. You see, it has a lot of….issues.
I think the biggest problem is the cleaning. Cleans itself? Ha! I wish. Instead, only the area around the blade gets cleaned and you have to scrub the rest by hand. So why not put it in the dishwasher? Oh wait, you can’t! How convenient.
I could ramble on about the problems with the Vitamix but, three years later, that seems pointless. For better or worse, I am now in possession of a $400 blender and (solely out of guilt, I assure you) I’m going to use it at least once a year even if it kills me.
Being the end of the year, I had to squeeze my one use in. Having nothing else that I was particularly craving, I decided to make some nut butters (when am I NOT craving those?). So, for your eating enjoyment, here they are, both similar yet entirely different all at once…
This isn’t your ordinary (eat-off-a-spoon) nut butter. Instead, it’s taste is EXTREMELY strong, meaning you only have to use a little to get an intense pistachio flavor. I decided to leave this one free of any extra sugars or other seasonings to really let the pistachio shine through, but, as always, you can do as you please.
Choosy moms choose....
- 1/2 c. (30 grams) wheat bran
- 2 1/2T. (25 grams) flax seeds, golden
- 2T. (19 grams) pepita
- 4 1/3 c. (516 grams) shelled, roasted and salted pistachios
→In a blending/grinding apparatus, whiz the wheat bran and flax seeds (this makes it so the flax seeds are digestible and the wheat bran’s texture unnoticeable).
Add the pistachios and blend/grind until it forms a butter. (I’ve never made nut butter in a food processor, but I’m pretty sure that the nuts form a ball before they become “butter”).
Make yourself a sandwich with a small amount of the nut butter and enjoy.
Nutella (with almonds!)
Did you know the main ingredient in nutella is sugar? I find that rather bothersome…Although there’s no hazelnuts in this version, it is rich in almonds and not sugar. Win, win!
- 1/2 c. (30 grams) wheat bran
- 2 1/2 T. (25 grams) flax seeds, golden
- 1 packet sugar-free hot chocolate mix
- 2T. (10 grams) unsweetened cocoa
- 4 1/2 c. (516 grams) Emerald’s cocoa roasted almonds
- sugar or sweetener to taste
→In a blending/grinding apparatus, whiz the wheat bran, flax seeds, cocoa and hot chocolate mix (this makes it so the flax seeds are digestible and the wheat bran’s texture unnoticeable).
Add the almonds and blend/grind until it forms a butter. (I’ve never made nut butter in a food processor, but I’m pretty sure that the nuts form a ball before they become “butter”).
Quickly transfer it to a storage container to avoid eating the entire batch.
Chocolate Almond Butter
If you’re lucky enough to have avoided (or never encountered) the sales trap of the Vitamix road show, I recommend using a food processor.