Chicken Little’s Waffles

Cinnamon Waffles

I’ve been researching the feeling I talked about yesterday (WebMD…we all do it). Apparently, it’s called “derealization” and is (or can be) associated with extreme anxiety. God forbid I should just feel “anxious” like everyone else. I skip past panic and go straight to delusional.

This got me thinking, which probably wasn’t the best idea. When I couldn’t give my stress a concrete name, I began to panic. What if I’m missing something? My mind was racing with the myriad of things I might be forgetting. It felt as if I might be forgetting that someone had told me the world was going to end and I had to save it. Needless to say, I only became more stressed. (The world was ending, people! And I forgot I had to save it!)

For future reference, if you’re stressed and don’t really know why, it’s probably best to just leave it a mystery for the time being.

After a several minutes spent hyperventilating, pacing, and panicking, I grabbed a few towels and (being now properly armed for the coming apocalypse) decided to have some waffles.

And, yes, I have completely lost it. Not quite sure what “it” is, but if there ever was an “it” (or several “its” for that matter), I am now officially without.

It.

Chocolate waffles with strawberries

“The World’s Ending so I May as Well Eat Waffles” Waffles
serves 1 (this is no time to diet! where are your priorities?!)

• 3T. mashed Fiber One Original Bran (mash it till it has the consistency of flour)
• 2T. cocoa powder (version 1) or pudding mix (version 2)
• 1/4 t. + a few pinches baking POWDER
• 3/8c. TOTAL applesauce + cottage cheese or 3 oz./half a small container yogurt (version 2)
• Water or milk or soymilk as needed to make it pourable
• Pinches of seasonings/extracts
• Sugar or sugar substitute, to taste

→Mix all the wet ingredients together in a small container/bowl/dish/cup.

In a different bowl (etc), whisk the fiber one, other flour, baking powder and sugar substitute/seasonings.

Version 2 after mixing

Add the contents of the second bowl to the contents of the first (or the first to the contents of the second) and mix well.

Cook in a WELL-GREASED waffle iron. Top with fruit or other topping of choice.

Making a mess

Don’t bother cleaning. The world’s about to end.

Cinnamon waffles with apple pie filling

Whoopie Pies for the One I Love

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Mix ‘n Match Cake (Healthy AND Low-Calorie)

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Breakfast of Champions: Lemon-Raspberry Parfait

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I have a confession to make: I’ve been eating a lot of cake/brownies/cookies lately. It makes me feel incredibly guilty, which, from a logical standpoint, doesn’t make much sense. If one were to take into account all the ingredients, they wouldn’t find a single guilt-worthy one. After all, what makes a plate of steamed broccoli “healthier” than pureed steamed broccoli in a cake?

I suppose it’s more about the psychological connections we have with certain foods. I remember my friend telling me once that, every time he ate something “unhealthy,” he would follow it up with something “healthy” like “broccoli”. Of course, being the kind of person that puts broccoli in my cake, my first question was what he would do if the cake was made out of something “healthy” (like broccoli). Not being one to obsess over every bite of food, he shrugged and let the issue pass, but I haven’t been able to let go of it since.

Whenever I eat a “healthy” version of a typically “unhealthy” food, my id and superego begin to battle it out in a dialogue reminiscent of the 1930s comedy sketch, “Who’s on First?” It seems neither one can understand the other and neither one cares to try. As a result, I am left guilty and confused about whether or not I should consider my baked goods “unhealthy” or “healthy”.

I guess the only question that really needs to be answered is why I care so much.

Things to think about:

1. How do you define healthy? Is it macronutrient composition? Raw food? Calories? Is it more a “feeling” based on what you associate the food with?
2. Based on your definition, how do you (or how don’t you) moderate unhealthy vs. healthy foods?
3. Where would you put a cake made out of broccoli on the spectrum?

For the parfait:

• Lemon Cake: Sponge cake seasoned with lemon zest
• Whipped Cream: Try my version made with sugar-free, fat-free pudding
• Raspberry Sauce: Mix low-calorie raspberry yogurt with water until it forms a saucy consistency

Adventures in Molecular Gastronomy: Vegan, Low-Calorie Sponge Cake

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Slightly Sweet but Always Stringy Spaghetti Squash

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Healthy, “Any Way You Like” Cookies (Microwave-Friendly)

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Thank you.

A Veggie Sandwich to Make Hardcore Carnivores Convert

When I first became a vegetarian (way back before it was cool), I had a really hard time finding animal-friendly lunches (especially sandwiches). Dinner was easy because I could cook anything I wanted. But, lunch…lunch had to packable and, preferably, not something that needed to be served hot. (I was never the kind of person who could eat lukewarm spaghetti).

Everything changed the day I discovered hummus. It was exactly what I had asked for and more. Not only was it low calorie enough that I didn’t have to measure every teaspoon as with peanut butter, but it tasted good with everything. And I do mean everything (including things like cheese, that peanut butter couldn’t even touch).

I know I’ve written extensively about my love for hummus, but I simply cannot help doing it again. Yes, peanut butter was my first great love, but I have long since divorced it’s nutty goodness in favor of hummus’ tangy charm that pairs nicely with sweets and sours and savories all at once.

I feel I should stop now and just get on with the recipe. For fear I may remove the hummus from its resting place in my fridge and, lick by lick, devour the whole container.

You can even toast the wrap and do it as a pizza!

Broccoli, Hummus and Cheddar Cheese–in a Wrap
serves 1

• Tortilla, wrap, bread, etc of choice
• Hummus (try my homemade recipe here)
• Chopped broccoli, steamed, baked or stir-fried
• Fat-free (or regular) cheddar cheese, shredded

→Lay the wrap on a flat surface.

Spread hummus on top.

Sprinkle cheddar cheese on top.

Dump the broccoli on. I like lots of broccoli so my sandwich is always overflowing.

See how I tried to make that seem as hard as a real recipe?

 

Memories of food: Spaghetti Squash Seviyan

There are a million ways to spell this vermicelli-based indian dessert. I’m sure there are an equal number of ways to cook it, but I am only acquainted with one: you start with vermicelli noodles, saute/fry them in a bit of ghee (fresh butter), add milk/sugar, cook over low-medium heat, and add cardamom/rose water when you remove from the heat.

Consistencies vary from what I have heard, but I have only seen the soupy variety, which resembles a strand of string floating in a milky puddle. Why seen, you might wonder. The answer to that is simple: I have never eaten seviyan before now; only watched my mother standing over a pot stirring it diligently, preventing the milk from curdling yet ever mindful of the noodles’ consistency.

It is a strange thing, this memory. Unlike my other memories of foods, which are irreversibly bound to taste and texture, this memory is a fleeting image in my mind. A shadow of a pot over a bright orange flame, strings of noodles, thick billows of rose-infused steam.

That was the image flashed across my mind as I scraped the bottom of my spaghetti squash the other day. It’s subtle sweetness jumped out at me, so much so that it was all I could taste. Visions of tomato-drenched spaghetti covered in cheese fled from the strong taste, leaving an irrepressible desire to make something noodly and sweet at the same time. Something like….

Seviyan Kheer with Spaghetti Squash
servings variable

• Light butter
• Spaghetti squash, cooked
• Evaporated milk (or mix 2/3 c. milk powder with enough water to make one cup)
• Sweetener
• Ground cardamom
• Rose water

→Dry the spaghetti squash strands. If you have a dehydrator, now would be a great time to use it. Otherwise, lay the strands on a paper towel and microwave until dry (but be careful not to burn them).

Melt a bit of light butter in a medium saucepan. Add the spaghetti squash and “fry” it in the butter over medium-high heat.

Add the milk and turn the heat down to low. I always seem to have issues with curdling, so I like to keep the heat really low. Let it cook for a few minutes and taste a spoon. The spaghetti squash will most likely release some of its sweetness into the milk. Add sweetener to taste.

Once the kheer (pudding) is the consistency you like, remove it from the heat and add the cardamom and rose water. Stir well.

Serve with some crushed pistachios.

The Adventure Continues: Sprouted Wheat Finds it’s Soulmate in the Pistachio

Truly a match made in heaven

All philosophical musings and deep words have been pried out of me by this miserable excuse of a day. So, in an effort to keep this blog from becoming a complete vehicle for my pointless rants, I’m going to try to avoid saying too much. I think I’ve already said too much.

I don’t know if you remember the pistachio butter I made awhile back or that I said it was insanely strong. I did though and it was. I am happy to report I have found a most perfect of uses for it. Green sprouted wheat berries. Opposites attract and these two are certainly opposites in flavor; but, don’t forget, birds of feather flock together–for that we have the intensity of said flavor.

It’s a match made in heaven.

Opposite, yet alike-the definition of perfect