Chicken Little’s Waffles

Cinnamon Waffles

I’ve been researching the feeling I talked about yesterday (WebMD…we all do it). Apparently, it’s called “derealization” and is (or can be) associated with extreme anxiety. God forbid I should just feel “anxious” like everyone else. I skip past panic and go straight to delusional.

This got me thinking, which probably wasn’t the best idea. When I couldn’t give my stress a concrete name, I began to panic. What if I’m missing something? My mind was racing with the myriad of things I might be forgetting. It felt as if I might be forgetting that someone had told me the world was going to end and I had to save it. Needless to say, I only became more stressed. (The world was ending, people! And I forgot I had to save it!)

For future reference, if you’re stressed and don’t really know why, it’s probably best to just leave it a mystery for the time being.

After a several minutes spent hyperventilating, pacing, and panicking, I grabbed a few towels and (being now properly armed for the coming apocalypse) decided to have some waffles.

And, yes, I have completely lost it. Not quite sure what “it” is, but if there ever was an “it” (or several “its” for that matter), I am now officially without.

It.

Chocolate waffles with strawberries

“The World’s Ending so I May as Well Eat Waffles” Waffles
serves 1 (this is no time to diet! where are your priorities?!)

• 3T. mashed Fiber One Original Bran (mash it till it has the consistency of flour)
• 2T. cocoa powder (version 1) or pudding mix (version 2)
• 1/4 t. + a few pinches baking POWDER
• 3/8c. TOTAL applesauce + cottage cheese or 3 oz./half a small container yogurt (version 2)
• Water or milk or soymilk as needed to make it pourable
• Pinches of seasonings/extracts
• Sugar or sugar substitute, to taste

→Mix all the wet ingredients together in a small container/bowl/dish/cup.

In a different bowl (etc), whisk the fiber one, other flour, baking powder and sugar substitute/seasonings.

Version 2 after mixing

Add the contents of the second bowl to the contents of the first (or the first to the contents of the second) and mix well.

Cook in a WELL-GREASED waffle iron. Top with fruit or other topping of choice.

Making a mess

Don’t bother cleaning. The world’s about to end.

Cinnamon waffles with apple pie filling