Mini Eggplant Pizzas

I was supposed to post on Monday. It’s now 6 days later and I’ve been through both a very “high, happy” period and a “suicidally depressed” period. Ironically, I’m not bipolar–I’m just pre-med.

Most of last weekend/Monday/Tuesday was spent studying for my anatomy exam, during which time I was feeling great on a new ADD medication my shrink put me on. I was comprehending stuff, remembering it, etc. Then (of all times), I crashed DURING my anatomy exam and had a panic attack.

Of course after that there was the suicidally depressed “oh no I failed” and then the EVEN MORE suicidally depressed “oh no here’s how bad I failed” (when the scores came out). Keep in mind both of these were accompanied by other suicidally depressed forms of self-destruction, i.e bingeing/purging, cutting, etc and their subsequent increased self-loathing.

Now, I’ve entered the confused/questioning phase of “should I talk to the professor about what happened and see if anything can be done about the grade?”

This is like some convoluted version of the stages of denial.

The following recipe, which I’ve been meaning to post for awhile, is a little convoluted too. I had an exorbitant amount of eggplant (bought in the trickery of the “10 for $10 sale”) and needed something to do with it. I considered eggplant parmesan for awhile but, come on, that’s just kind of boring: slice eggplant, top with sauce, top with cheese, bake.

The more I pondered the eggplant parm and why it’s considered a culinary masterpiece, the more I realized it was the breading-that’s the tricky part. Of course then there was the thought, Why bread eggplant parm? It’s unnecessary calories. One thing that DOES need breading, though, is a pizza base. Mainly because, if you try to use a vegetable (like eggplant) as a pizza base, you end up feeding your pants instead of your visceral body organs (one of the many things my panic attack made me get wrong on the exam).

This came out better than I expected, to be honest. I thought it would be a pretty basic pizza crust but what I ended up with was a crust that was somewhat soft inside and crunchy outside. I suppose I should have realized this would happen given the training I’ve received from Alton Brown’s show. The breading acted as a casing (much like tinfoil) around the eggplant while it baked. The end result is a pizza crust that not only holds the toppings (like a pizza crust), but also gives a comfort food effect (like stew).

Enjoy!

Pepporoni "pizza"

Mixed veggie "pizza"

Mini Eggplant Pizzas makes six

  • 1 medium eggplant, sliced into 6 rounds
  • Eggbeaters, egg whites or whole eggs, lightly beaten
  • Oat bran/Wheat bran
  • Spices: garlic powder, onion powder, salt/pepper, cayenne pepper (if you like your pizza a little spicy)
  • Pizza sauce or a mixture of tomato paste, garlic powder, onion powder, italian seasoning and salt/pepper
  • Fat free mozzarella cheese (or lowfat, or full fat, or vegan substitute)
  • Pizza toppings of choice ((vegan) pepperoni, mushrooms, broccoli, etc)

→Preheat oven to 450 F. Spray a cookie sheet with nonstick spray.
Mix the oat bran, wheat bran, garlic powder, onion powder, and salt/pepper in a shallow dish (I used about 75% oat bran and 25% wheat bran. The total amount doesn’t matter all that much because whatever sticks sticks and whatever doesn’t doesn’t).
Put the egg substitute in another small baking dish.
Dip the eggplant slices first in the egg and then in the breading mixture. Place on the cookie sheet.
Bake in the oven for 20-25 minutes (mine was a toaster oven so it probably finished a little faster), turning over half way through.
Spread some sauce over each “pizza”. Top with cheese and toppings.
If you want the cheese a little melty, put the pizzas back in the oven for a minute or so (I ran it one “toast cycle” in my toaster oven at the lightest setting).

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