Zen #7: Garlic and Grown-Up Comfort Food October 3, 2009

I just spent the entire morning peeling garlic cloves. I would like to say it’s because I wanted to cook something with garlic but that’s really not the reason. Don’t get me wrong, I love garlic–in everything. But, usually, when I’m cooking, I end up just using the powdered stuff. (I know, I know).

No, the reason I spent the entire morning peeling garlic cloves is because there’s something meditative about it. It’s tedious and time consuming but mindless as well. Mindless in a way that allows you to sit there for hours on end…

The only goal is to get the skin of the garlic clove and the only thing you know at that moment is that you can’t lose THIS clove, you have to get the peel off. And then in starts again with the next clove. And again. And, after awhile, you find that it makes you feel successful, a little less worthless, a little less miserable.

You almost feel like you did when you were thin, when you had friends and went out and wore nice clothes, when you didn’t care what other people thought of you because YOU knew you were thin and that was all that mattered to you. You wonder, was that happiness?

Minutes pass, hours even and the memories start to flood your mind, the ones you avoid because they make you sad and nostalgic for those simple pleasures of having your friends teach you how one “frolics” properly. Surely, that was happiness. Surely, that’s the way life is supposed to be lived, at least for a few days out of the year.

The radio asking when you forgot it was your life and the cat scratching at your feet stop bothering you so much. If the phone rang, you wouldn’t even answer it, not even if it were your parents who you always wish would call you (even though you pretend it doesn’t matter) because you need to know that they care about you as much as you still need them too.

You think of what he said to you yesterday, the one who sits by you in your self-esteem-draining journalism class whose name is unknown yet who has become somewhat like “John by my locker John”. What did he say?
“Self-pity’s no good.”
“Oh, I live on it.”
“Well, that’s sad, you’re going to spend your entire life being miserable. What if you actually succeed?”

But you know that’ll never happen. Because success for you lies only in one thing and your greatest nightmare has come true: you know you’ll never have it again.

And then there is no more garlic. You look down and realize you’ve peeled it all. And you start to worry about the mess, your misery returns as you realize you’re not in that world anymore, the world with the perfect Steve Madden shoes (no leather AND a size 11!), the perfect Old Navy dress pants (grey, size 8 long), the blue, collard, button-down tops (Gap? Size M) and the perfect body to wear them all.

No, you’re in this world. And you’re sure you must have died that night and gone to hell.

Mac and Goat Cheese

Mac and Cheese with Zucchini

• 9.5 oz macaroni
• 1 lb zucchini (about 2-3 of them), sliced
• garlic, minced (I used about 2-3 cloves)
• 4 oz goat cheese (or more if you like)
• lemon zest, and or lemon juice
• salt and pepper

→Cook the pasta.
Saute the zucchini with the minced garlic and add to the cooked and drained pasta.
Mix in the goat cheese, adding enough water to make it into a sauce. I suppose you could also just use more cheese, but that might throw off the taste.
Add salt and pepper to taste.
Top with some lemon zest and a squirt of juice.

Roasted Butternut Squash Salad September 27, 2009

This is one of my favorite salads. It’s for those few days in-between sunburns and snot icicles (which seem to come all too quickly in Michigan). Warm, cold, sweet, salty…it’s every flavor and texture that you could want in a salad (and one you’ll NEVER find in the dining hall).

The roasted butternut is really good enough on it’s own. But that’s not what makes this salad great. No, this salad is great because of the goat cheese. Although a rather expensive feat to make, the lavender-lemon crumbles of creaminess lend an earthy feel to the entire thing that makes the salad perfect for days when you’re tired, miserable, and just had your weekly news story ripped to shreds by your editor.

Yes, this is a salad for those days. The days when you wish you could rip yourself open and scoop out all the blubber. You know, as a substitute for killing your cat/dog/significant other/friend/self.

Go ahead, have a salad. It’s diet friendly!

A Wintry Sort of Salad

Roasted Butternut Squash Salad with Lavender-Lemon Goat Cheese

• butternut squash, peeled and cubed
• goat cheese
• lavender (you can find this in the spice aisle)
• lemon zest (just grate it yourself…it’s so much cheaper)
• lettuce mix of choice (I like the spring mix)
• nuts (pistachios are good, almonds, I guess?)

→Step 1: Roast the squash
Preheat oven to 375*F. Spray a baking dish with cooking spray. Put the peeled/cubed squash on the tray and roast it for about 45-55 minutes. Make sure to check frequently to avoid burned squash!
Step 2: Make the goat cheese
Take about an ounce of goat cheese and mix it with the lemon zest and lavender. Make sure the goat cheese is cold so that it won’t turn into a paste when you’re trying to mix it.
Step 3: Put it together
Top the lettuce with the goat cheese and squash. And anything else you want. Usually, I’ll put some fake chicken strips, nuts, and/or Walden Farms raspberry vinaigrette. Honestly, though, this tastes good all by itself.

Roasty Toasty Broccoli September 26, 2009

You know those days that make you want to curl up in a little ball with a Snuggie wrapped tightly around you while watching 8 hours of House reruns?

Today was one of those days.

Not only because it feels like Halloween outside and the dark, dense clouds have been threatening to rain all day. Not only because I woke up at noon, still groggy from what is a suspected virus. No, not even because my friend’s mouse peed on my shoulder yesterday.

The reason today was such a day was because I ate too much yesterday. To be quite honest, I’ve been eating too much (junk) these past few weeks in general. Haven’t you noticed the lack of posts, i.e. cooking?

With eating comes weight gain and with weight gain comes a certainty of suicidal ideation and general lack of motivation. So, basically, for me, peanut butter = suicide–in more ways than one.

By the time I got up today, went to the bathroom (without any success with is probably due to the bingeing) and generally mulled about, I didn’t seem to even WANT any food. I did have plans to go to the store today to replenish my depleted stock of fruits and veggies, but the nippy weather nipped that idea in an instant.

So, instead, I dug out the limp broccoli from last week’s groceries, boiled up some pasta and made “a meal”.

Voila.

Yummy Trees of Wholesomeness

Oven-Roasted Broccoli

• fresh broccoli florets
• cooking spray (or olive oil)
• garlic (minced fresh cloves or powder)
• salt and pepper
• onion powder, opt
• lemon juice

→Spray the broccoli with cooking spray. Sprinkle with garlic, salt/pepper and onion powder. Roast at 450*F for about 20-25 minutes (make sure you keep checking and shaking the pan). Drizzle with lemon juice and serve.

Alternatively, toss broccoli, fresh garlic (minced), onions (opt), and salt/pepper. Roast, drizzle lemon and serve.

Veggie…Stuff September 22, 2009

Did you know the police can ticket you for being one inch out of a metered parking space? I had to go downtown today for an interview and this meant that I also had to park along the street.

Now, since I don’t really DO parallel parking (I’m barely coordinated enough to do regular parking!), I drove around looking for a spot where I wouldn’t have to parallel park (i.e. the last/first spot in a row). I found one and, apparently, made the grave mistake of going up a WHOLE inch over the lines that mark a space. A WHOLE INCH.

Yes, that’s really worth a $15.00 fine.

How sad is it that we pay taxes so police officers can spend all day driving around giving us tickets for being a little out of a parking space. They have people whose SOLE job it is to do that.
I feel so bad for them.

Anyway, in other news, I did actually decide to get off of my butt this past weekend and cook something. I don’t really know what to call it but, after that hummus fiasco last week, something with no name that tastes good is probably a lot better than something with a name that I had to throw away.

I went out and bought all these vegetables (basically every vegetable Kroger had) and was standing at the checkout thinking, Am I crazy? I haven’t even cooked anything in weeks–what am I going to do with all of these! I came home, cut everything up into chunks, picked out my favorite spices (lemon, garlic and, ummm, some other stuff I randomly threw in), and put it all in a pan. Just for good measure, I threw in some chickpeas as well. Gotta have protein, right?

I don’t really know what I was hoping to make. I do know it wasn’t a stew. Stews bother me a little because if you eat them with a spoon, you have trouble getting the veggie chunks and, if you eat them with a fork, the juice with all the yumminess ends up in the dish. It wasn’t a stir-fry either because, when I think “stir-fry,” I think of something that has crisp veggies and I really wasn’t in the mood for that.

Basically, after half an hour, I ended up with something that can only be termed “glop”. But, seeing as how “glop” isn’t really something I can imagine anyone wanting to eat, I’m going to have to think of a different name. Mush? Thick Stewy Veggies? Veggie Palooza?

I don’t really know what a “palooza” is or if it’s even a word but, hey, why not?

Veggie Stuff (w/falafel)

Veggie Palooza

• garlic (fresh, minced, frozen, whatever)
• lemon juice
• frozen 3 pepper and onion blend
• sliced mushrooms
• eggplant
• chickpeas, canned
• chopped tomatoes (or diced in a can)
• cumin, cinnamon and salt

→Lightly saute the garlic and onion/pepper blend (I used Pam for this). Chop the eggplant into chunks and add it to the pan. Stir until eggplant is starting to get mushy. Add the tomatoes and chickpeas (make sure to drain them first). Add lemon juice and other spices to taste. Feel good that you’re eating so many veggies.

Simple Sooji Idlis September 17, 2009

I wonder, is it wrong to go to the dining hall at lunch and stay there through dinner? In all fairness, I did eat “lunch” around 1:30 pm and dinner starts at 4:00 pm. Besides, I’m probably going to have extra meals left over out of my 70 anyway.

Now, the matter of whether or not they towed my car, which I think is parked in a reserved space (if there’s not a sign directly in front of the space or arrows on the signs next to it, is the space still reserved?), is another question. I hope they didn’t tow it because that would be really sad.

While we’re on the whole “asking questions” thing, why is it that, whenever you ask people who work in the dining hall what vegan/vegetarian foods there are, they look at you like they don’t know what you’re talking about? What? There’s food other than steak and beef in the world? Are you sure?

I remember the hours upon hours spent last year arguing with one of the dining hall managers that “raw salad vegetables (including shredded carrots, which he pointed out they DID have) and one type of veggie burger” did not count as “an adequate selection for individuals with dietary restrictions”. He kindly explained to me that, if I didn’t like it, I could move off campus (although, for a freshman this is not allowed) and cook for myself.

When I informed him that for a lot of people moving off campus is against university policy he was kind enough to tell me that it wasn’t his problem some students had chosen to eat abnormally.

Tell me again why I got a meal plan this semester?

I guess it’s easier and I want the fruit of my labor. The story of the evil dining hall manager has a happy ending because, after protesting and protesting and talking to the director of student affairs, I finally got them to make a mandatory rule that several different kinds of fake meat products will be served at every meal along with hummus and pita in the salad bar.

I deserve to at least eat all that food I fought for!

Anyway, that wasn’t the point. The point was to talk about the idlis I made. Although I’m still in a “cooking slump,” these little steamed wheat cakes are so simple to make, they’re not even worth calling a recipe. Typically, they’re made with a mixture of rice and lentils or wheat and lentils along with several other add-ons, so feel free to modify this basic canvas any way you want.

Plain Sooji Idlis (and the brown lentils/broccoli I decided to have with them)

Idlis (Steamed Wheat Cakes)

• 2 cups sooji (cream of wheat)
• 1 cup plain yogurt
• 1/2 T baking SODA (not powder)
• salt, to taste
• Microwave idli cooker (I got mine for 10 bucks at the Indian store that’s right before the Trowbridge entrance to I-96, Swagath Foods)
• Nuts, seeds, flavorings…. (opt)

→Roast the cream of wheat in a pan like you would roast nuts. Or don’t, it’ll just taste a little different. Mix the salt, yogurt and sooji together adding water until it forms a thick, cake-like batter (thinner than a paste, thicker than a cake batter). Mix in optionals. Add in the baking soda and immediately cook according to the microwave idli makers directions.

Simple and much healthier than typical American style bread. Plus, with the microwave maker, there’s no excuse to eat white bread!

Venturing into the Buffet (a.k.a. the “Dining Hall”) September 16, 2009

I was planning to take lots of pictures. I swear. I had my camera and everything. I would like to say that my battery died after the first one or the manager came and threatened to beat me with a stick (wouldn’t that be dramatic?), but, honestly, I just couldn’t bring myself to do it.

I know I’m a journalist and I’m supposed to be providing the public with easy access to the truth in its most comprehensible form and all, but standing in the middle of a PACKED college dining hall and taking pictures? Next time, I swear.

Cherry Pecan Salad, no dressing (with a veggie dog) and a side of Hummus with Pita

I did get one of MY tray, which I felt was fairly balanced (I’ll post it when I’m NOT in class). The big thing to remember with dining halls and any buffet is to decide what you want and get it. In America, the typical style of eating is “clean your plate”. If you do subconsciously feel that your plate must be sparkling white (or whatever color) when you’re done, don’t focus on changing this idea. I find that changing ingrained ideas is much harder than learning to work around them so, if you can change it, that’s wonderful, but if you can’t, find a way to get around it.

For example, I’m going to eat everything I get at a buffet. I could spend hours and hours that I don’t have obsessing about how to change this idea but all that obsession would probably lead to a binge anyway.

Instead, GET LESS. If you’re in a buffet situation, skip the old standbys and try stuff that looks really good. If you don’t like it after ONE bite, put the plate on the side of the table and mess it up (pour water in it, clean up something nasty with a napkin and put it on top, combine the parts that shouldn’t go together, etc) so you won’t go back to it later. Then, go back (with a new plate) and get something else.

If you prefer the sampling numerous items method, get smaller portions. In the dining hall, ask for half a cup of something or half a scoop of rice with sauce. It’s probably going to be easier to do this if you go when they’re not too busy so try to arrange your dinner time (if not lunch) a little bit later than “the rush”. If you’re at a self-serve buffet/stations, just take smaller portions. How to know how much to take? Everything should fit on a plate, preferably a smaller one.

Just my two cents.

Coming soon:
A visit to the nutritionist
Microwave idlis in 5 minutes (3 ingredients)

Quinoa Cereal (with cooked quinoa) September 12, 2009

As unfortunate as it sounds, I don’t really have any clever banter today. I do, but it’s fairly depressing and self-pitying so I thought I’d spare anyone who happens upon this blog.

I did come up with this recipe a while back, though. I was waiting to post it until I HAD some non-self-pitying clever banter, but a week is probably too long to wait anyway.

Quinoa Cereal

Quinoa Cereal

• Quinoa, cooked (SEE NOTE)
• Yogurt (preferably of the thick variety, I used kroger carbsmart vanilla)
• fruits of choice (pineapple, strawberry, blueberry, raspberry, kiwi…for me)

→Put cooked quinoa in a bowl. Add yogurt. Stir. Top with chopped fruit. Yum.

NOTE (To cook quinoa): Rinse. RINSE WELL. If you don’t rinse it well enough (generally till the water’s clear), it’ll be bitter. If you’re unsure, just keep rinsing it till you feel like you’ve gone mad rinsing and that should be enough.
Put it in a pot. 1 part quinoa to 2 parts water (1.5 parts water if you like crunchier quinoa).
Bring to a boil. Put a lid on top of the pot. Then, reduce to a simmer and simmer for 15-20 minutes.
Enjoy.
***You can also replace the water with stock or juice or water + flavoring.

Zen #6: Quality, Not Quantity (and a delicious summer salad) September 6, 2009

I’ve been craving carbs. Insanely. I think it’s the long weekend–4 straight days of nothing to do but ponder how no one even cares to call me. I actually attempted to have a real conversation with a telemarketer yesterday. So, do you think your job is pathetic? Oh, no, not at all, I find the colorful array of responses quite amusing. That’s cruel.

Okay, fine, it was actually a conversation that occurred within my head because even the telemarketers are too good for me now.

It’s been a mounting problem ever since my birthday. First, I began to count calories again, then there’s the cravings, then there’s the bingeing to sooth the cravings (which all actually happened as a result of the subconscious craving to feel wanted and the fact that I looked really fat in my press badge photo).

Finally, after screaming bloody murder at my cat for scratching me, I decided to take a big black (non-permanent) marker and write “QUALITY OF KCAL, NOT QUANTITY” on my bathroom mirror. It hasn’t really worked too well, but at least I feel like I’ve addressed the problem and identified a flawless solution. Although most psychologists would consider the lack of ability to implement the solution as a debilitating flaw in it.
To them, I have simply to say, “I’m working on it!!!!!”

For example, I made quinoa yesterday. I didn’t actually do anything with the quinoa, just took a big pot and boiled it. This, however, was the first step. Honestly, how hard is it to take a pot and boil something? Of course, today, looking at the giant pot in my fridge, I thought, You cooked it (a lot of it) and it’s probably a good idea to do something with it before it goes bad.

I considered stuffed roasted red peppers or cookies or just mixing it with some splenda and cinnamon, but realized I was still to lazy for the former and the latter would be aggravating the “bingeing on carb” situation I seem to be in. Salad seemed an optimum choice, especially after recently discovering a quickly rotting mango in my fruit drawer. Mango, quinoa, what else? Beans….

"Clinging to summer" salad

Mango, Black Bean and Quinoa Salad

• 1 ripe mango
• Red bell pepper
• Cucumber and/or a touch of shredded lettuce
• Fresh mint and/or coriander
• Quinoa
• Black beans
• Dressing (lime juice and ground cumin with a touch of jalapeno or something milder like yogurt mixed with a touch of cinnamon, nutmeg and ginger)

→Chop the first 4 ingredients. Add in the quinoa and beans. Mix it up. Prepare desired dressing. Dump the dressing on top and enjoy!

Quick and Easy Pizza Wrap September 4, 2009

One of my biggest annoyances in life is when you go to the grocery store, think it might be a good idea to pick up some of those frozen pre-made wrap thingies, and then realize the company stopped making them. Replace “frozen pre-made wrap” with any multitude of discontinued products and you have the story of my life. It took me years to find a store-bought hummus I actually WANTED to eat and, after a few months, they discontinued it.

Do I just have this knack for picking foods that the rest of the world doesn’t like? I guess the whole vegetarian thing doesn’t help either.

On that subject, I came up with this little wrap do-hickey during the week of final exams for the summer semester, so it’s not exactly a new recipe. It’s easy though, not even really worth being called a recipe, but I thought I would post it for any freshman who happened upon this blog wondering what to do with those microwaves they bought in their “oh my god, I’m going to college” buying frenzy.

As to myself, the only thing I’ve eaten ever since my birthday on August 27th that’s not a sugar-laden protein bar/cookie/other junk food or low-calorie bagel is the lunch I had at Altu’s today (which was delicious but more about that later).

Veggie Pizza (with Yves Pepperoni)

Tortilla Pizza

• 1 wrap/tortilla
• Pizza sauce (or not)
• any toppings (veggies, cheese, fruit, etc…be creative!)
• your microwave

→This is really easy. Put all the toppings on the tortilla/wrap in the order desired (do you like sauce on top? you can do that). Microwave until the cheese is melty and everything is warm. Wrap and eat.
OR you can use the microwave crust recipe I talked about earlier and then just put the toppings on the crispy tortilla.

I’m hoping to start exploring a culture soon, I just need to pick one. And, I’m waiting for the editor to put my new layout up so I can organize the blog into better categories. Hopefully, that’ll be soon!

Zen #5: Letting Go and Some Eggplant Falafel August 29, 2009

I really wanted to call it “Baba Ganoush Falafel” but the lack of tahini in my kitchen makes this somewhat pointless. I think if you give foods exotic names, they taste better. Some strange psychological thing.

I actually made these a few days ago but didn’t feel like posting the recipe because I was too excited maiming the drunk cat on my birthday cake. Yes, there was a drunk cat and, yes, I will be putting pictures of said drunk cat on this blog as soon as my parents email them to me. Now, this was a very special cake (I spent six hours trying to find a place that would make it the day before I needed it so it better be special!). It was not only the first “non-dietized to the point of disgustingness” birthday cake I’ve cut (and consumed) in the past six or seven years, but also the most unique cake any of you have never tasted (yes, it’s supposed to be never).

This cake, which I spent half an hour ordering, was a variation on Whole Foods’ “berry custard cake” (or something). Instead of all normal cake, it had half regular vanilla cake and half angel food cake (soaked in pineapple juice…no, wait, orange…or pineapple?…ummmmm…), the “whipped cream frosting” on top was whipped with stevia instead of sugar, the custard, usually vanilla, was flavored orange (I think the cake was soaked in pineapple then), and all of it was adorned with a drunk cat holding a bottle in honor of my little kitty who couldn’t be there. Yes, this was the most unique cake Whole Foods has ever had the misery of writing down an order for. I would go into detail about the phone conversation I had with the guy, but I don’t think it needs to be any more painfully obvious how obsessed I was with having the perfect birthday cake.

You better believe I was going to eat this one.

I did realize something, though. The entire time I was there, whether I was stuffing my face with falafel and hummus from Anita’s Kitchen or stuffing my face with the poor dismembered icing-cat on my cake, I felt like something was off. Julie was there and my whole family was there and it should have been a really happy day, but it wasn’t. All I wanted to do the entire time was get up and run back to my apartment to give my little kitty a kiss.

And, then, amidst all the laughter and stuffing of faces, with custard still smeared on my face, it hit me. I didn’t belong here with these people. They weren’t the people I knew and loved anymore or, maybe, I wasn’t the person who knew and loved them. Somewhere, between the starving and the bingeing and the cutting and the pills and cat and dreams of changing the world, I had changed. I would always love those people because of my past, but I couldn’t force myself to be who I’m not anymore just to stay among people who value image as much as my family does.

For the first time in the entire day, I didn’t feel like crying because I knew, deep down, that I didn’t HAVE to stay. I don’t HAVE to let the image-obsessed world I grew up in push me to the point of death. I don’t HAVE to be thin to be good. I don’t HAVE to wear tight jeans and jewelry wherever I go. There has to be somewhere in the world that values the unique.

"Falafel" and (sadly) store-bought hummus

Falafel (sort of)

• 1 medium eggplant
• roasted garlic
• tahini would be great if you’ve got it
• cumin (if you want)
• salt and pepper
• flour (all I had was oat but anything can be used)

→Broil the eggplant until the skin is charred. The best way to do this is over an open fire (got a gas stove? me neither). If you don’t have a gas stove, you can broil it in the oven, but you’ll have to watch it carefully and turn it frequently. Mine didn’t really roast all the way through. You could bake it too, but that wouldn’t give the same flavor.
When the eggplant is soft all the way through, scoop out the pulp (or peel it) and put it in a bowl or container or something. Mash with a fork until creamy.
Add roasted garlic (I cheated and used roasted garlic out of a bottle, but if you’re at the store, buy some garlic and roast it!), cumin and salt and pepper to taste.
Add flour, a tablespoon at a time until the mixture is thick enough that you can form patties.
Bake, fry, pan fry, whatever.

NOTE: choose an eggplant that is heavy for its size and use promptly to prevent a bitter taste.