Chat Masala (without the chips!) December 15, 2009

So my internet has decided to work only sporadically. I guess that’s what you get for trying to mooch off of someone else’s connection.

Ah, there it goes again.

Well, no need to whine about my internet woes on my blog. I would say something deep and insightful about the fact that I’m done with school but I really can’t think of anything to say right now. So here’s a recipe…

Eggplant Chat

Chat Masala like stuff

• Eggplant, sliced
• Chat masala (you can get this at an Indian grocers)
• Chickpeas (or hummus)
• Sweet and sour chutney (or something sweet and something sour)
• Plain yogurt

→Rub both sides of every eggplant slice with the chat masala (I just sprinkled it on top and rubbed it around with my finger). Grill.
When the slices are done being grilled (don’t burn them!), put them on a plate and top with the chickpeas (hummus?), plain yogurt and chutney.
If you’d like, top with something crunchy (unsweetened cereal? boondi? crumbled chips?)

Typically, this dish is done with chips. You can get it at pretty much any roadside stand in India, but I think the eggplant combined with the masala makes a nice change. If you don’t want to buy the chutney, just think of it this way-you need something sweet and something a tiny bit sour.

Couscous, etc December 7, 2009

Note to self: Avoid sitting on flimsy desks or you’re going to end up on the floor with a desk on top of you.

And that is painful.

Seriously!

Look at the pretty pomegranate seeds!

Fruity, Nutty and Cheesy Couscous

• couscous
• pomegranate seeds (so worth the trouble)
• goat cheese, crumbled
• pumpkin seeds, toasted of course
• FRESH cilantro and/or mint, chopped
• lime juice, preferably fresh
• pomegranate molasses or, if you have no idea what the hell that is, just use balsamic vinegar (see UPDATE)
• olive oil if you’re a “put olive oil in your dressing” sort of person, which I, being fat phobic am most obviously not

→Prepare couscous as directed on package (for an extra kick, use veggie stock in place of water). Fluff with fork after prepared.
Once couscous is ready, stir in dressing*
Add the cilantro/mint, pumpkin seeds, pomegranate seeds and goat cheese (no substitutions on the goat cheese!)
Stir until well combined.
Chill because this tastes horrible warm.

*NOTE: For every 1/2c of dry couscous, make a dressing of about 1/2T lime juice and 1/2T balsamic vinegar. I have no idea how much oil you would add seeing as how I try to avoid the stuff as much as I can.

The amounts of the other ingredients are relative to the flavor you want. For about 1/2c. dry couscous, I used about half a pomegranate, 4oz of goat cheese and 1-2T pumpkin seeds.

UPDATE (12/12/09): Something was off with this recipe so I tried adding some pineapple juice. It helped, but not all the way. You need something to offset the sour, orange juice perhaps?

Butternut Squash Lasagna November 21, 2009

Language is an interesting thing. It lends itself to lies.

Not the outright lies that are obviously lies, not even the lies of omission. Different lies. Lies that are truths, without you even realizing it.

I’ve always found that the best liars always believe their lies. That’s the only way the other person can believe them too. It’s a lot like telling a story: it’s all a lie but if you believe in it for a little while, you are the sort of storyteller who can bring everyone else along for the ride. And those are by far the best kind.

Language lends itself to the truthful lies. The things we say without even realizing it and the words that are so similar to each other that they mean almost the same thing. But when you change one word for another, it changes everything.

Like in place of love, persistent in place of stubborn, sadness in place of suffering…changes like that make all the difference. And, more often than you may realize, changes like that can be the difference between a successful lie and a failure.

Especially when the one you’re trying to fool is yourself.

A Thanksgiving Treat

Butternut Squash “Lasagna”

Sauce*:

• onion
• garlic
• 1t sugar/splenda/equal/whatever
• 1 28oz can diced tomatoes with basil and oregano
• salt and pepper to taste

Lasagna:

• about half a pound butternut squash, steamed and mashed
• onion
• garlic
• half a spaghetti squash, cooked
• 1t honey
• 3/4c cottage cheese (or a mix of cottage and goat cheese)
• 1c. mozzarella cheese
• 1/4c. parmesan cheese (use the real stuff, not the kraft stuff)

→Make the sauce: saute onions and garlic. Add tomatoes (juice and all) and spices. Cook for about 10-15min on medium heat.
Saute some more onion and garlic and mix that with the butternut squash and honey.
Assemble the lasagna: sauce, spaghetti squash, half the butternut squash mixture, half of the cottage cheese, sauce, half the mozzarella, repeat, top with parmesan.
NOTE: Use the spaghetti squash in place of lasagna noodles. Just spread it out in a layer. You could use lasagna noodles, or some other lasagna noodle substitute, but the slight sweetness of the spaghetti squash is complimented by all the other ingredients.
Bake at 350* for 35-45 minutes.

*Note about the sauce: You can use jarred spaghetti sauce if you want. If you do, it might need more or less sugar depending on how sweet it already is.

Things you learn being a journalist (and some more indian food) November 7, 2009

When I signed up for this “internship,” I probably didn’t know how hellish the next few months were going to be because of it. Either that, or I’m still suicidal subconsciously.

I always had this ideal of journalism. I’m going to be a journalist and save the trees, I would say to myself.

If this semester is any indication, I probably won’t be spending the rest of my life saving very many trees. I might, however, get first word on some of the most controversial political scandals. And, if I don’t, there’s always med school.

After only two months, I’ve probably learned more about what it means to be a reporter than 15 years of school has taught me. Granted, I wasn’t learning to be a reporter for ALL of those fifteen years…but still.

Things I’ve learned about being a journalist
1. There is no such thing as stalking. When people run for a political position, they are essentially asking for reporters to stalk them. Continuously. The only exception to this rule is if you are calling because you want a breaking story filled with deception.
Then you’re a stalker

2. Thou shalt not use serial commas. What is a serial comma, you ask? It’s the comma that goes before the last item in a list. For example, “Reps. blah, blah and blah refused to call me back despite the fact that I started calling them a week in advance.” Usually, there would be a comma before that “and”…unless you’re a journalist.

3. Get a good cell phone plan. Because you will be using it. Even if you have no friends and the whole world hates you.

4. No one will answer the phone or call you back. Especially if they are part of governmental department. Because I’m sure those media officials have better things to do THAN WHAT THEY GET PAID FOR. *cough* not *cough*

5. Don’t waste your time coming up with a brilliant and creative lead that you are intensely proud of. There is a 103.6% chance that, by the time the story is in an actual paper, that lead will not be there.

6. Do not expect people to be able to spell your name. However, you must be able to spell everyone else’s name because you, as a reporter, are supposed to be able to do everything.

7. Do not use “insert quote here” as a placeholder in your story because, if that goes to print, you probably won’t have a job anymore.

8. You are allowed to fabricate controversy. If there is nothing controversial going on CURRENTLY, write about gay people or abortion or, if you’re really committed, call every single mildly important person you know until someone disagrees with what everyone else said.

9. Going along with that is a general principle that will help you greatly: where there is money, there is controversy. Say ANYTHING about money, and it will automatically be controversial. For example, “such and such costs so much money”. That’s it. That’s all you need.
It’s like controversy in a bottle. For all your last minute controversy needs.

10. Whatever happens, make sure–MAKE VERY VERY SURE–you hang up the phone before you begin to swear at whomever you were talking to. Even if it is in another language.

Saag (spinach) with or without the paneer (cheese)

It's Popeye the sailor man!

• frozen chopped spinach (I like the Kroger variety)
• crushed/pureed/otherwise saucy tomatoes (I use about half of a 15oz can)
• garlic (this really depends on how garlicky you like it, I can never have enough)
• ginger (once again, depends on how gingery you like it)
• garam masala (a.k.a. curry powder)
• coriander powder
• salt and pepper
• lemon juice (optional, I just put it in everything)
• cubed tofu, paneer, etc (optional)

→It helps to defrost the spinach a little first. Just makes the whole process go so much faster.
Saute the ginger/garlic.
When they’re sauteed, add the spinach and tomatoes. Cover and let sit till spinach is mushy. (You might need to adjust the heat a little depending on how much you’re watching it).
Add the garam masala, coriander, salt/pepper, and lemon juice to taste and stir well.
Cover and let sit, stirring occasionally, till it looks somewhat like the picture.
Add the optional tofu/paneer/whatever at the very end.

East Peasy Mac and Cheesy (Healthy Too!) October 18, 2009

Today we’re going to discuss a basic principle of life:
Evil bureaucracy = No time for writing.

Actually, that’s it. See, if there was no evil bureaucracy in, let’s say, college, I might be able to spend some time on this post.

I might be able to say something, I don’t know, INTERESTING. But, alas, the point of this thing we call an educational institution is not to nurture the facets of the mind but, rather, to destroy them.

Soon we will all be robots named it and then only will the leaders of this horrible bureaucracy rest.

The Cheesiest!

Edible Easy Mac

• macaroni (yes, you can take a container of easy mac and boil the macaroni)
• cubed or block cheddar cheese (I found a 1% milk block at wal-mart)
• veggies (the horrors of education have produced a situation where I have been unable to go to the grocery store in 3 weeks, so I went with some frozen peppers and onions but broccoli would have been much better)
• soy crumbles or beef crumbles or something like that

→Boil pasta.
Steam or saute the veggies/crumbles.
Drain pasta.
Put pasta back in pot and add cheese/sauteed veggies + crumbles.
Stir until sauce forms. Add milk if necessary.
Eat pasta.
Do dishes (this is actually a very important, often forgotten step)

Ahhh, memories of my 6th grade English class exercises where we tried to give our teacher directions to make a pb+j sandwich. The trick? We had to assume he had never heard of the concept before. My sandwich had a knife in it.

Zen #7: Garlic and Grown-Up Comfort Food October 3, 2009

I just spent the entire morning peeling garlic cloves. I would like to say it’s because I wanted to cook something with garlic but that’s really not the reason. Don’t get me wrong, I love garlic–in everything. But, usually, when I’m cooking, I end up just using the powdered stuff. (I know, I know).

No, the reason I spent the entire morning peeling garlic cloves is because there’s something meditative about it. It’s tedious and time consuming but mindless as well. Mindless in a way that allows you to sit there for hours on end…

The only goal is to get the skin of the garlic clove and the only thing you know at that moment is that you can’t lose THIS clove, you have to get the peel off. And then in starts again with the next clove. And again. And, after awhile, you find that it makes you feel successful, a little less worthless, a little less miserable.

You almost feel like you did when you were thin, when you had friends and went out and wore nice clothes, when you didn’t care what other people thought of you because YOU knew you were thin and that was all that mattered to you. You wonder, was that happiness?

Minutes pass, hours even and the memories start to flood your mind, the ones you avoid because they make you sad and nostalgic for those simple pleasures of having your friends teach you how one “frolics” properly. Surely, that was happiness. Surely, that’s the way life is supposed to be lived, at least for a few days out of the year.

The radio asking when you forgot it was your life and the cat scratching at your feet stop bothering you so much. If the phone rang, you wouldn’t even answer it, not even if it were your parents who you always wish would call you (even though you pretend it doesn’t matter) because you need to know that they care about you as much as you still need them too.

You think of what he said to you yesterday, the one who sits by you in your self-esteem-draining journalism class whose name is unknown yet who has become somewhat like “John by my locker John”. What did he say?
“Self-pity’s no good.”
“Oh, I live on it.”
“Well, that’s sad, you’re going to spend your entire life being miserable. What if you actually succeed?”

But you know that’ll never happen. Because success for you lies only in one thing and your greatest nightmare has come true: you know you’ll never have it again.

And then there is no more garlic. You look down and realize you’ve peeled it all. And you start to worry about the mess, your misery returns as you realize you’re not in that world anymore, the world with the perfect Steve Madden shoes (no leather AND a size 11!), the perfect Old Navy dress pants (grey, size 8 long), the blue, collard, button-down tops (Gap? Size M) and the perfect body to wear them all.

No, you’re in this world. And you’re sure you must have died that night and gone to hell.

Mac and Goat Cheese

Mac and Cheese with Zucchini

• 9.5 oz macaroni
• 1 lb zucchini (about 2-3 of them), sliced
• garlic, minced (I used about 2-3 cloves)
• 4 oz goat cheese (or more if you like)
• lemon zest, and or lemon juice
• salt and pepper

→Cook the pasta.
Saute the zucchini with the minced garlic and add to the cooked and drained pasta.
Mix in the goat cheese, adding enough water to make it into a sauce. I suppose you could also just use more cheese, but that might throw off the taste.
Add salt and pepper to taste.
Top with some lemon zest and a squirt of juice.

Roasted Butternut Squash Salad September 27, 2009

This is one of my favorite salads. It’s for those few days in-between sunburns and snot icicles (which seem to come all too quickly in Michigan). Warm, cold, sweet, salty…it’s every flavor and texture that you could want in a salad (and one you’ll NEVER find in the dining hall).

The roasted butternut is really good enough on it’s own. But that’s not what makes this salad great. No, this salad is great because of the goat cheese. Although a rather expensive feat to make, the lavender-lemon crumbles of creaminess lend an earthy feel to the entire thing that makes the salad perfect for days when you’re tired, miserable, and just had your weekly news story ripped to shreds by your editor.

Yes, this is a salad for those days. The days when you wish you could rip yourself open and scoop out all the blubber. You know, as a substitute for killing your cat/dog/significant other/friend/self.

Go ahead, have a salad. It’s diet friendly!

A Wintry Sort of Salad

Roasted Butternut Squash Salad with Lavender-Lemon Goat Cheese

• butternut squash, peeled and cubed
• goat cheese
• lavender (you can find this in the spice aisle)
• lemon zest (just grate it yourself…it’s so much cheaper)
• lettuce mix of choice (I like the spring mix)
• nuts (pistachios are good, almonds, I guess?)

→Step 1: Roast the squash
Preheat oven to 375*F. Spray a baking dish with cooking spray. Put the peeled/cubed squash on the tray and roast it for about 45-55 minutes. Make sure to check frequently to avoid burned squash!
Step 2: Make the goat cheese
Take about an ounce of goat cheese and mix it with the lemon zest and lavender. Make sure the goat cheese is cold so that it won’t turn into a paste when you’re trying to mix it.
Step 3: Put it together
Top the lettuce with the goat cheese and squash. And anything else you want. Usually, I’ll put some fake chicken strips, nuts, and/or Walden Farms raspberry vinaigrette. Honestly, though, this tastes good all by itself.

Roasty Toasty Broccoli September 26, 2009

You know those days that make you want to curl up in a little ball with a Snuggie wrapped tightly around you while watching 8 hours of House reruns?

Today was one of those days.

Not only because it feels like Halloween outside and the dark, dense clouds have been threatening to rain all day. Not only because I woke up at noon, still groggy from what is a suspected virus. No, not even because my friend’s mouse peed on my shoulder yesterday.

The reason today was such a day was because I ate too much yesterday. To be quite honest, I’ve been eating too much (junk) these past few weeks in general. Haven’t you noticed the lack of posts, i.e. cooking?

With eating comes weight gain and with weight gain comes a certainty of suicidal ideation and general lack of motivation. So, basically, for me, peanut butter = suicide–in more ways than one.

By the time I got up today, went to the bathroom (without any success with is probably due to the bingeing) and generally mulled about, I didn’t seem to even WANT any food. I did have plans to go to the store today to replenish my depleted stock of fruits and veggies, but the nippy weather nipped that idea in an instant.

So, instead, I dug out the limp broccoli from last week’s groceries, boiled up some pasta and made “a meal”.

Voila.

Yummy Trees of Wholesomeness

Oven-Roasted Broccoli

• fresh broccoli florets
• cooking spray (or olive oil)
• garlic (minced fresh cloves or powder)
• salt and pepper
• onion powder, opt
• lemon juice

→Spray the broccoli with cooking spray. Sprinkle with garlic, salt/pepper and onion powder. Roast at 450*F for about 20-25 minutes (make sure you keep checking and shaking the pan). Drizzle with lemon juice and serve.

Alternatively, toss broccoli, fresh garlic (minced), onions (opt), and salt/pepper. Roast, drizzle lemon and serve.

Veggie…Stuff September 22, 2009

Did you know the police can ticket you for being one inch out of a metered parking space? I had to go downtown today for an interview and this meant that I also had to park along the street.

Now, since I don’t really DO parallel parking (I’m barely coordinated enough to do regular parking!), I drove around looking for a spot where I wouldn’t have to parallel park (i.e. the last/first spot in a row). I found one and, apparently, made the grave mistake of going up a WHOLE inch over the lines that mark a space. A WHOLE INCH.

Yes, that’s really worth a $15.00 fine.

How sad is it that we pay taxes so police officers can spend all day driving around giving us tickets for being a little out of a parking space. They have people whose SOLE job it is to do that.
I feel so bad for them.

Anyway, in other news, I did actually decide to get off of my butt this past weekend and cook something. I don’t really know what to call it but, after that hummus fiasco last week, something with no name that tastes good is probably a lot better than something with a name that I had to throw away.

I went out and bought all these vegetables (basically every vegetable Kroger had) and was standing at the checkout thinking, Am I crazy? I haven’t even cooked anything in weeks–what am I going to do with all of these! I came home, cut everything up into chunks, picked out my favorite spices (lemon, garlic and, ummm, some other stuff I randomly threw in), and put it all in a pan. Just for good measure, I threw in some chickpeas as well. Gotta have protein, right?

I don’t really know what I was hoping to make. I do know it wasn’t a stew. Stews bother me a little because if you eat them with a spoon, you have trouble getting the veggie chunks and, if you eat them with a fork, the juice with all the yumminess ends up in the dish. It wasn’t a stir-fry either because, when I think “stir-fry,” I think of something that has crisp veggies and I really wasn’t in the mood for that.

Basically, after half an hour, I ended up with something that can only be termed “glop”. But, seeing as how “glop” isn’t really something I can imagine anyone wanting to eat, I’m going to have to think of a different name. Mush? Thick Stewy Veggies? Veggie Palooza?

I don’t really know what a “palooza” is or if it’s even a word but, hey, why not?

Veggie Stuff (w/falafel)

Veggie Palooza

• garlic (fresh, minced, frozen, whatever)
• lemon juice
• frozen 3 pepper and onion blend
• sliced mushrooms
• eggplant
• chickpeas, canned
• chopped tomatoes (or diced in a can)
• cumin, cinnamon and salt

→Lightly saute the garlic and onion/pepper blend (I used Pam for this). Chop the eggplant into chunks and add it to the pan. Stir until eggplant is starting to get mushy. Add the tomatoes and chickpeas (make sure to drain them first). Add lemon juice and other spices to taste. Feel good that you’re eating so many veggies.

Simple Sooji Idlis September 17, 2009

I wonder, is it wrong to go to the dining hall at lunch and stay there through dinner? In all fairness, I did eat “lunch” around 1:30 pm and dinner starts at 4:00 pm. Besides, I’m probably going to have extra meals left over out of my 70 anyway.

Now, the matter of whether or not they towed my car, which I think is parked in a reserved space (if there’s not a sign directly in front of the space or arrows on the signs next to it, is the space still reserved?), is another question. I hope they didn’t tow it because that would be really sad.

While we’re on the whole “asking questions” thing, why is it that, whenever you ask people who work in the dining hall what vegan/vegetarian foods there are, they look at you like they don’t know what you’re talking about? What? There’s food other than steak and beef in the world? Are you sure?

I remember the hours upon hours spent last year arguing with one of the dining hall managers that “raw salad vegetables (including shredded carrots, which he pointed out they DID have) and one type of veggie burger” did not count as “an adequate selection for individuals with dietary restrictions”. He kindly explained to me that, if I didn’t like it, I could move off campus (although, for a freshman this is not allowed) and cook for myself.

When I informed him that for a lot of people moving off campus is against university policy he was kind enough to tell me that it wasn’t his problem some students had chosen to eat abnormally.

Tell me again why I got a meal plan this semester?

I guess it’s easier and I want the fruit of my labor. The story of the evil dining hall manager has a happy ending because, after protesting and protesting and talking to the director of student affairs, I finally got them to make a mandatory rule that several different kinds of fake meat products will be served at every meal along with hummus and pita in the salad bar.

I deserve to at least eat all that food I fought for!

Anyway, that wasn’t the point. The point was to talk about the idlis I made. Although I’m still in a “cooking slump,” these little steamed wheat cakes are so simple to make, they’re not even worth calling a recipe. Typically, they’re made with a mixture of rice and lentils or wheat and lentils along with several other add-ons, so feel free to modify this basic canvas any way you want.

Plain Sooji Idlis (and the brown lentils/broccoli I decided to have with them)

Idlis (Steamed Wheat Cakes)

• 2 cups sooji (cream of wheat)
• 1 cup plain yogurt
• 1/2 T baking SODA (not powder)
• salt, to taste
• Microwave idli cooker (I got mine for 10 bucks at the Indian store that’s right before the Trowbridge entrance to I-96, Swagath Foods)
• Nuts, seeds, flavorings…. (opt)

→Roast the cream of wheat in a pan like you would roast nuts. Or don’t, it’ll just taste a little different. Mix the salt, yogurt and sooji together adding water until it forms a thick, cake-like batter (thinner than a paste, thicker than a cake batter). Mix in optionals. Add in the baking soda and immediately cook according to the microwave idli makers directions.

Simple and much healthier than typical American style bread. Plus, with the microwave maker, there’s no excuse to eat white bread!